Weathering the Storm: How Aches & Pains Might Connect to Climate Changes

A few days ago I found myself in a mind fog and found it difficult to get out of bed.  My thoughts snapped to “Crap! Am I coming down with something again?” A 70-year-old business associate and friend called me a day or so later (and I paraphrase), “I have never been this bad.  I had a terrible migraine (she’s had them all her life) and I was throwing up all day… I’ve never seen the barometric pressure change so drastically (a pattern she has monitored for decades+).”  “Hmm,” I wondered, “My husband got a headache around the same time and couldn’t figure out where it came from and I had my own (disorienting) experiences…”  I wonder, is this an old wives tales or truth?

Mind Over Matter techniques are not the catch all (in my practice) and I will admit my bias upfront: I’m not a big fan of the “take a pill” philosophy (of which my husband did that Saturday night: popped a couple of pills).  While I tend to refer to those who prescribe natural remedies* (when clients and friends ask), I regularly look for the why; the triggers (a natural curiosity that is part of my professional and personal practice).

On the prowl for more information, I found a USA TODAY article:  The research, thus far, testing air pressure as a reason for experiencing joint pain, includes a Japanese study in 2003: it’s possible.  However, studies connecting migraines to barometric pressure since the 1970’s are inconsistent, and a National Weather Service study in 2004 found more migraines were found with temperature and humidity changes (not barometric pressure changes).  In addition, there is even a Swiss study that connects gynecological symptoms to barometric pressure changes.  So, there’s some science from a secondary source, you can research it further and decide if you believe it or not.

Maybe you have other family members, or even you, that seem to be able to predict the weather as a result of head and joint pain.  Collecting my own personal empirical data, my memory drifts to how my inner ears feel when ascending and descending in an airplane, and discomfort I feel in my head as a result depending on how congested I am that day.  But, ( senses there might be some truth to weather-related body ailments with an “aches and pains index” complete with map and advertiser for “Living for Arthritis.”  But, if we cracked the why code, where does this all lead?  What if you or loved ones are suffering?

Storms cause air pressure change and the best places to live are Hawaii and the San Diego, California to limit your exposure.  If you can’t do that, find a comfortable place to endure the storm: the one outside and the one inside you.  Become conscious of your patterns, and use cures that make sense to you.

If you want to learn more about my mind over matter practice go to  Speak to you soon.

*Asheville (NC) Area Natural Remedies Experts I know personally are:


Thank you so much for posting this! I have been having knee pain and leg fatigue since Christmas. Went to the doc for a CBC, upped my vitamins, and nothing has helped! Maybe this is the culprit. I am new to Asheville, and this is my first winter here, so hmmmmm Maybe! Thanks again! (North Carolina)


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Excuse Me While I Interrupt: Striking the Talking Listening Balance

I love to talk and I love to listen.  Is this a dichotomy?  In “my world,” most of the time, not so much.

I’m told I’m a good listener; hear people’s stories (play it back as I believe I’ve heard it and get a “yes”  nod most times… not always).  Listening is a skill that I find valuable because I enjoy digging deep into verbal and non-verbal messages to get to an understanding of core needs.  However, I’m not an introvert; I don’t mind car silence as I’m usually carrying on a conversation in my head; l talk with food in mouth (shorter sentences, usually, and I do put my hand over my mouth to limit seefood experiences); I talk in my sleep (but my husband and partner of 31 years snores so we’re even).  And I break a cultural norm on a regular basis called interrupting.

Working with clients (and in other settings) I usually ask for no apologies when they interrupt me.  Why?  Because words are full of triggers that bring up sensory experiences, events, and thoughts: in one sense it’s like brainstorming (“you just spurred a thought in me”); in another they are finding their voices; and people are off the hook interesting and I don’t want to miss what they’re thinking because I’m talking.  Of course, that means that I interrupt (tit for tat): not so much to finish others’ sentences or stories, or to tell them how they feel or what they mean (while there are times when it’s helpful to ask, “did you mean…?” to clarify understanding), but in reaction to what one is saying as I’m listening (sometimes as simple as “Wow!” to longer strings of thought).

At the end of the day, it’s all about intention and what all participants end up getting out of a conversation.  So as you have might guess, I decided to do a little research on this subject and it wasn’t easy; most people don’t have a whole lot of good things to say about interrupting people.

I finally tracked down a communication expert who helps others relax a bit when it comes to interrupting conversations by saying “People seldom interrupt with the specific intent of irritating you.” She gives a number of tips in her blog on the psychology of interrupting, but of course I looked for someone to support my argument and she has played into my particular bias with one of her tips being, Invite comments before you complete your thought.”  You can read more about what she says and decide for yourself.  And you can also type “people interrupting” in any keyword search and it primarily points to how much more wonderous we are when we are listening.  But doesn’t someone need to be talking to allow us to revel in our good listening ears glory?  And who makes the rules on those permitted to speak and those permitted to listen?  Yet again, it’s cultural norms.

Now I’ll make the assumption that some reading this might say, “No way, Payton, people who interrupt are egomaniacs, have no self-control, don’t respect others, want control, are competitive…!” (I’m not feeling like that’s a stretch.)  At a young age we’re programmed to wait in line, wait our turns, and speak only when spoken to.  But what if clarity is gained that benefits the interruptees and the interrupters who needed a bit more air time to process out loud?  What if new truths are found that they didn’t know existed without discussing or arguing back and forth?  Certainly, you’re entitled to embrace your own cultural norms, but I’d argue that many don’t dig into the psychology or their own communication styles and spend a whole lot more time criticizing others on their deficits.  I know that I can take too much air time; don’t want to miss other sage thoughts simultaneously; should be interrupted at times; and I embrace that discourse makes the world go ‘round.

One final note, I love listeners.  How else would talkers have audiences?  However, I’m not deceived by those earning the gold star called “really good listener” (those who say little to nothing, are master doodlers, may even add a little head nod or “uh huh” in a conversation); you can read more from an introvert that reveals that listening too hard eventually results in her checking out of the conversation while still looking like she’s listening at .  (Introverts can unite by looking up her book “The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World” released December 2012).  I know that if I’m talking too much about things that don’t fill others’ needs they can’t muster up enough energy to care to listen; in these instances I may push for interruptions since I’m wasting my and the listener(s) time or simply stop talking.  Of course, there are instances where silence is golden, things have to get done and listening is instructional; there are plenty of resources that support those standard premises.  But, I’ve mentioned before and I’m stickin’ to it: I’m a work-in-progress and up to the art of striking that balance.

If you want to learn more about my mind over matter practice go to  Speak to you soon.

Speaking of great communication, I liked this unique permission granting tagline from Marion Grobb Finkelstein…WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete tagline with it: Communications expert, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to improve their businesses and their lives by improving their communications. Chat with her Facebook or sign up for her FREE weekly e-newsletter “Marion’s Communication Tips” at


I have been really working on truly listening to people and keeping my mind/mouth in the moment! Thank you! (Ohio)

I love this! How refreshing. I usually interrupt when I am really enjoying a conversation and concur, or want to tease out details or further thoughts. Often, though, I find I am then beating myself up for having done so. Usually I put the habit down to being one of seven kids; that’s just what it’s like around the dinner table. (Australia)


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Apple Cider Vinegar per Day Keeps Bad Flora Away

I would miss an important part of the overall picture with clients if I only looked at mind over matter work in a bubble, so let’s talk nutrition.  On my client intake I ask: “Are you taking herbal or natural supplements?  If yes, what and reasons for each one? “; “What percentage of your daily diet is fresh food?  Processed food (on average)?” I’ll qualify upfront that I’m not a dietician and I’m not prescribing.  I am sharing a habit that I’ve adopted, referenced numerous websites and then it’s up to you to decide how it fits in your life (or not).

One of my personal practices is using Apple Cider Vinegar internally and on my skin; one bottle sits in my bathroom and one in my home remedies cabinet.

While Apple Cider Vinegar usage can be traced as far back as 400 B.C. and Hippocrates, there is limited science behind it (  However, there is a fair amount of buy-in on fermented foods being good for the digestive track ;
( ; ;

Putting more puzzle pieces together, 70% of our immune system strength comes from our intestines (  Apple Cider vinegar is apple juice or cider that has been fermented and has been an easy and quick food to add to my daily routine.

To be clear, Apple Cider Vinegar is not a digestive enzyme, but more a prebiotic ( that increases the population of probiotics (good bacteria) in our guts.  People use ACV for countless reasons ( and in various ways (in recipes, straight up, mixed with drinks, applied to the skin).  I, personally, add this fermented goodness in plain water: add about one Tablespoon ACV to 32 ounces of water.

Even a bit more personal (yeah, let’s go there), I use it as a bacteria killer; instead of deodorant I drench a cotton swab and kill the bacteria with apple cider vinegar under my arms (or, to be literal, in my armpits).  No, the smell doesn’t linger (  If you just said, “Eeeeewwww,” don’t knock it ‘til you try it (or not).

If you want to learn more about my private practice you can go to  Speak to you soon!

Thoughts following this post on other social e-networks where I connect:

Connection Thought:  “I have heard that the ACV alone (in water) can damage the teeth, and therefore, it is best to alkalize it (?) with a small amount of baking soda prior to drinking… do you do this?/thoughts?” (North Carolina)

My response: “…There is a guy that is a real naysayer on ACV and he seems to imply that rinsing after taking ACV straight up is a good idea (due to potential erosion of enamel). We should also note that raw foods have been pointed to as being problematic for teeth — which includes apples and this article does give suggestions including your thought.

My first 32 oz of water is usually where I have ACV then I move to regular water in the afternoon/evening. And it’s super important to brush and floss my teeth as well. Thanks for the thought. I’ll add this to my post.


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Social Contact, Creating Community, and Being Happy

Maybe you’ve heard about the studies where child development halted due to lack of human contact (if not, read more at  But, what does that mean to young adults to the elderly?

One of the questions I ask on my Client Intake Forms in my mind over matter practice  is “Do you connect with friends and/or family on a regular basis?  How and how often?”  What I have noticed over time — regardless of how much of an independent, alone-time personality one may develop as an only child or inward processor — is that without social contact one is not fully living.  What do I mean by “connect?”  Everyday, with multiple people:

–In the best situations it would be les yeux pour les yeux (eyes to eyes).
–In good situations it would be skype or facetime to skype or facetime.
–In okay situations it would be voice to voice.
–In mediocre situations it would be letter, email, social media to letter, email, social media (in social media pay attention to photographs, posts, material referenced to create more conversation).
–A combination of situations so that you can achieve everyday status (which doesn’t mean mediocre everyday, but a best, good, okay, mediocre combination).

Yes, there are other factors to consider; stress, money issues, dietary considerations and sleep deprivation.  But, being alone is, well, lonely and it becomes depressing (see  So, here are some suggestions for best situations:

–Find groups of people that you have things in common with at; their position is “neighbors getting together to learn something, do something, share something…”  I was introduced to my French speaking community in the Asheville area and eventually studied in France as a result; You may be interested in the Asheville Hiking Group (2,200 members); The Four Seasons Running Club has over 200 members.  It’s easy to search for groups large and small.–If you want to take the lead, create your own group; I pushed the button to create the Asheville Area Wholistic & Integrative Professionals (nearly 440+ strong) networking group.–Force yourself out the door on a weekly basis to have tea, coffee, lunch, take a walk with someone and listen to what’s on his/her mind (while it takes longer, consider one-to-one so you can really focus on each other, as well as small groups).

For good situations consider “skype”ing or “facetime”ing friends and family:

–Share new projects, play music, show off new flowers in the garden… visually with one another.
–Have dinner together (we have virtual dinners and blow out candles for birthdays with my mother and father-in-law who live in a retirement community 10 hours away and with my oldest daughter in college six hours away).
–Take friends and family on travels with you (when I was studying in France and missing my family we did “facetime,” I turned the screen around to show them where I was sitting in a cafe and we had lunch together).

In Psychology there is a theory called Economics of Happiness which was spearheaded by Abraham Maslow (, attention to happiness was expanded in current day by the United Nations, and research has been conducted in countries like Denmark and Bhuton (a country in Asia) which are said to be the happiest countries in the world.  While America’s founding fathers have even ruled in the “Declaration of Independence” that all have the “right to pursue happiness,” what is happiness?

For Bhutan, researchers would point at this country focusing on maintaining community, strengthening sense of identity (for rhetoric and Burke lovers), through face to face contact (  They have a sense of belonging that relies on people.  (See other videos at

But, let’s make an intuitive call.  Do you want to live life to its fullest?  How do you feel when you have people in your life that you know, like and trust?  Take the time to create your community (2 or 200), you will be glad you did.

If you want more information about my mind over matter work, go to  I’ll speak to you soon.

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Ode to Nettie

My oldest daughter and a couple of her college friends had come to visit for the weekend.  At 1:00pm on Saturday, my family and daughter’s friends are strolling around town on a beautiful Autumn day and I get a text from a close friend, “Hey, u got a sec?”  “Sure,” I responded.  “Did you know Nettie passed away?”

Startled, I made an audible sound as if trying to catch my breath and my older daughter said, “Are you OK?”  “Yes,” I shared and dropped the subject.  I returned a text to my friend, “I am with family right now.  If I call you I’m afraid I’ll get myself and the rest of my family upset… Thanks for sharing.”  I know Nettie would have agreed, “Michelle, enjoy your family.  We will reconnect later.”

Nettie had given birth to a lot of children, lived a long and full life, and was loved by many.  She was one of my first consciously chosen mentors.  I worked  (formally) with her for over one and half years and later shared our work together in my first book: “Adventures of a Mainstream Metaphysical Mom:  Finding Peace of Mind in a World of Diverse Ideas.”

When I thumbed through the book index for the chapter title — “Your Intuitive Development… Finding a Coach” — I noticed that a torn piece of paper was slid into the middle of Nettie’s chapter.  I turned the small, tattered, scrap piece of paper over and it was torn in such a way the first line showed “recognize,” the second line “classes that have,” the third line “something noteworthy!” (Nettie would really like the word “noteworthy.”)

Pages 72 and 73 were bookmarked and my eyes were drawn to one of our lessons that read, “Remember to keep my feelings in the ‘light’… If my soul was to leave this body would I be in heaven or hell with my thoughts?  Be mindful of the moment.  Keep the bliss in the forefront of my mind.”

There are ten months of Nettie assignments on these two pages; I’ll revisit them.  But, today, we reconnected.

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Sleep issues?

Less than six hours of sleep per night contributes to headaches, indigestion, increased anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, weight gain, (if a smoker) increased smoking, inability to concentrate, actually puts those with poor sleeping patterns in pre-diabetic state as if plays games with insulin levels, +.

What can you do about it?  Quick tips include:

-Remove light-emitting technology one hour or more prior to bedtime:  TV, IPads, Cellphone screens, clocks with lights, even nightlights.  If you must have a light in the bedroom, for instance, use an orange light that doesn’t emit the blue light spectrum (a standard item in hardware stores).  Otherwise melatonin levels are alerted that it’s time to get up.

-Move cellphones and clocks (that you’ve turned around so you can’t see the lights), at least 3 feet from your head; electro-magnetic fields can play with production of melatonin and serotonin levels.

-If you get up to use the bathroom, you know where the toilet is.  Don’t turn on any lights or look at the clock.

-If you wake up, who cares what time it is?  Stress increases when looking at the clock, and the light that entered your eyes decreased your ability to get back to sleep (brain says “Light!  Time to get up!”).

-Web search triptophane foods.  This is a great article of trytophan foods and how they help those having difficulty getting to sleep —

-If you wake up, use a pattern interrupt to clear your mind (get rid of “What time is it? I’ll never get back to sleep. I have to…”).  While EFT can be effective, tapping points may be more effective on the karate chop area (see vs. head and face.  I prefer, however, Ho’oponopono — “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you” — because the objective is simply to get you to zero or clear mind; no problem or solution to focus on, just clearing the mind.

There is so much research out there that I can’t possibly cover it in this post — exercise and when, smokers beware of that last smoke at night (you’re not relaxing), consulting your doctor about medications you may be taking that keep you up, DON”T TAKE melatonin unless your absolutely sure how much to take and when (this is constantly misused).  But the biggest message you should hear is your relationship with sleep will create a better relationship with your body, mind, and spirit.   My book “Healing What’s Real” covers EFT, NLP, Hypnosis, Self-Hypnosis, Past Life Regression, and other mind over matter approaches and can be found at

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Relationship with Smoking and How to Redefine it

I’m noticing some Equinox Resolutions on Facebook so  I’ll touch on relationship with smoking.

Being a hypnosis/mind over matter professional, it is as much about the post work.  When the urge hits, this means adrenals are dropping and the cigarette is a way to keep adrenals up in fight/flight mode.  Digestion system shuts down at that time so visualizing stomach and intestines and other organs getting blood flow and adrenals dropping to relax mode (while deep breathing… smoking is all about deep breathing) will increase relaxation.

Common patterns to be interrupted…
–Smoking before going to bed.  What this really does is interrupt sleep patterns; fallacy that it creates relaxation, as mentioned.
–Does curb the appetite if skipping meals, but burns out adrenals over time (then you can’t use fight/flight when really needed).  If the non-smoker is active and healthy eater, there is little to no weight gain.
–Does wake you up in the morning (that morning smoke) since brings adrenals up, but creates more of a chaos high (fight/flight).  Good quality tea or coffee (even creating a bit of a relaxation ritual with this) is a sound idea instead.  If smoking while drinking tea or coffee, additional work needs to be done around that (reframing).

Some have found putting a little cig ashes in water and sniffing it when the urge hits as helpful (in addition).  Gross, but for the first week some really need to pull out all the stops.

AND research has shown that swearing can be calming.  Seriously.  Neuro research has shown it’s a valid way to blow off steam, and relax brain waves.

If you want to know more about my mind over matter practice, go to

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Missed Understandings: Breaking the Language Codes to Create More Harmony

I received a group email and asked to be removed from the e-list; the business associates feelings were hurt.  I hadn’t read the message… figured it was another event announcement… it was in a similar format as past business communications… a family member was ill.

I showed up for an appointment on time, but I was told that I had to reschedule because I was late.  Two years of showing up (weekly) at the same time, I found out that while she said 3:30 it really meant approximately 3:00.  She just figured I was doing the best I could to get there on time and never said anything until two years later.

So what do you do?  You may get irritated; even angry because you think you’re right.  In fact, you are right!  Both of you are right!  Because you spoke in your language, using your filters, and weren’t aware that there were other perspectives.

I can’t speak for how the other parties should process in my earlier examples.  What I do know is that if I can figure out what the other person is hearing – I don’t have to agree with or like it – I can talk myself off the righteous cliff.  With the exception of dialogue getting overheated or one (or more) of the parties making assumptions that are inaccurate, I don’t feel like an apology is in order; no one is wrong.  To say “sorry” resolves nothing; it just declares a winner.

Think about it.  If we could acknowledge that our processes are not everyone’s processes, and variety is the spice of life.  If we owned that our experiences created filters that are true for us, but may not be the truth for others; and that’s OK even if we don’t agree.  If we took responsibility for our communication and shared our thoughts instead of saying “Everyone else understands.  Why don’t you?” What would happen?

Filter alert!  Of course, this doesn’t apply to discrimination, physically or mentally hurting others, stealing, and other evil-doings.  But, you will conjure up visuals in your minds’ eye that won’t be identical to another with the mention of any single word; even in contrast to your closest friends.

Sometimes I wonder if we are truly communicating to each other at all!  I am observing more and more that what truly happens when we communicate (i.e. speak, write, no response, non-verbal cues…), as long as we get a satisfactory return response, we move on; a “compatible communication.”  It reminds me of what an old co-worker said to me,”I don’t agree with the way you got there, but I agree with the outcome.” Studying neuro-linguistic programming, hypnosis, emotional freedom technique, and related techniques, writing multiple books, and working with thousands of people, I know it’s my responsibility to make myself clear.  I have to remind myself of many different themes, as the key to effective communication is to take ownership in what we (as individuals) push out into the world.  Random thoughts crowd my mind as I replace patterns from my own history:  Help me to help you; this helps both of us.  Help me hear you; I don’t always catch on without additional explanations.  Help me to want to hear you; gently correct me if my assumptions are inaccurate from your perspective.  Speak to me in a way that I can hear you; everyone else might understand, but if my body and verbal cues show that I’m missing your point and it matters to you, ask “help me to better communicate to you.” We will still have our own thoughts that don’t match up perfectly, but we can all use a bit more harmony.

If you’d like to learn more about mind over matter approaches that I practice, go to  You can listen to audio, view video, read excerpts from my books, check out my upcoming events, and get to know what type of individual sessions I offer.  Speak to you soon.

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“I want to stop smoking” – Bigger than lighting up!

Many times when a client says “I want to stop smoking” she may perceive that this is a mutually exclusive action. It’s not.

There are many reasons why a person is inspired to smoke – boredom, bonding, calming, concentrating, anger, hunger, (a valid) excuse to take a break, something to do with her hands, tired. Smoking becomes a type of “fight or flight” muscle memory. The brain reacts when the perception of survival is threatened — the heart rate increases, the digestive and immune system shuts down — and puts the smoker in a constant state of high (as if killing or running from prey) which (can eventually) stress and burn out the body on multiple levels.

A client who truly wants to stop smoking should be looking (in conjunction) at: Am I getting enough sleep (seven to nine hours are optimal), and what kind of rituals can I build around sleep to decrease my need to smoke? Am I eating healthy (especially breakfast) and regularly? How has the action of smoking become a part of my lifestyle – when I drink alcohol is smoking a part of that mix, and am I smoking to mirror and fit in with others?

Can hypnotherapy help? Sure! When collaborating on the whys then “I no longer smoke” can truly become reality.

See more on clinical Hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, EFT, and other mind over matter concepts (including my 7 books) at

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Snuggling In and Thriving

I’d gotten home from being out of town for a few days – a teaching engagement on self-hypnosis – and my youngest said, “Mom, I hate it when you leave.”  My 18 year old, edgy, independent, college boy added, “Yeah. I hate when I get up and you’re not here.” This actually made me laugh, “You both are busy doing your things, what do you care if I’m not home?  Your dad’s here and you seemed to have a good time this weekend.”  The son that proclaimed a day earlier that he is ready to get his own apartment owned up, “At least when you’re working locally we know you’re only twenty minutes away.”

No coincidences, this conversation played out very closely to where I was netting out on where I should be spending my time.  After seven books and four more in the planning stages, going back to graduate school (to eventually teach college part-time), and content with the number of clients that I worked with weekly, I was ready to hunker down.

There was a day when I thought that my mix had to include extensive travel to be successful.  But what is success?  I am, by no means, a “NY Times Best Selling” author, but my work is read world-wide, I have taught classes remotely to all corners of the Earth, and can make claims to being internationally “known,” but I found that I lost focus spreading myself so thin.  I preferred to work with clients one-on-one… it gets much better results for clients (Ah ha!  The Purpose!).

Sometimes we get so caught up in muscle memory, because we buy into a recipe of how to succeed by other people’s standards.  I can’t tell you how many clients I have worked with that fall victim to this (including me).  Conceptually I have heard “When I studied with so and so (or read such and such) he said that if I just follow his steps I will be successful in this business.”  A young man told me that (in order to be a great writer) “I have to sit down and write the same time every day… (and furthermore) If I copy someone else’s style I will eventually come up with my own style.”

OK, so who am I to say what’s right or wrong?  I do know that we seem to be losing our concept of critical thinking, intuition, inner voice, gut feel, and the like.  When we give the quizzical dog look that’s when we should take on the information, assimilate it to fit our styles, value our natural voices, and feel good about the execution.

For the moment, until it’s not, I’m snuggling in, hunkering down, and enjoying my path as I get out of my own bed, drink tea from my own table, kiss my family every day, and spend time with the plethora of people that come in contact with in my hometown; Asheville, NC.  If you want to see how that’s working out, go to!

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